The rest of my mission can be summed up through reading my posts sent via email. The purpose of this post is to sum up some of my final feelings and bring some closure in my mind to the events that led to me finishing my mission early. Earlier today I read a blog post by another missionary who served in the same mission that I did. She went through a similar experience. She was so open and honest, and through her display of courage, I figured that I could do the same. (Her post can be found HERE ) To provide a short disclaimer, the things expressed in this post are entirely my own thoughts based on my own knowledge and experiences. They may not always be accurate because I don't know everything, and I would encourage anyone and everyone to investigate and form their own conclusions. In August of 2013, 5 months after I left on my mission, an ugly beast that had plagued me most of my life, decided to manifest itself in the most forward and unavoidable way. For most of my
Once again, writing sometimes seems to be the hardest thing to do... I entered the MTC on March 20th, 2013. I went through the entry process, got my badge, dropped off my luggage, and was dropped in the classroom where a wonderful and smiling teacher greeted me but would only speak to me in a secret code that only she could understand (turns out it was Vietnamese). I had to go do some things on a computer, then I was sent for an orientation and officially met my companion. I specifically remember feeling really awkward, but not a normal awkward where I smile and act cool, then when I get some alone time I run away and cry to myself; this was an awkward where I knew that "alone time" would never come (unless you count sleep). That day, I was in so much of a haze that as I think back on the memories, I can't remember much other than the sequence of events, and how I felt. I was traumatized and scared, I felt inadequate, and strangely unworthy because I didn't feel pre